please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
