I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
