dude i'm inner monologue high
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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