sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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