p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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