Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
