All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
