Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
