just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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