Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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