Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
