Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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