she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
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Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
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She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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