ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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