If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
