we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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