I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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