Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
