So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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