FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Actions speak louder than pants.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
