i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
