Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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