You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My liver is preforming stress tests.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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