Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
