Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
