Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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