brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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