she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Randomize
