he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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