lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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