used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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