I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
