think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He told me they were just razor bumps!
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
