All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
