Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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