I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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