so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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