Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
