Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
