That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
