if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
