I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He keeps bees of course he's weird
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
