I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
