dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
