your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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