it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
