i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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