if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
