you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
