So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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