what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
