Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
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we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Send help, water and tortillas.
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I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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