Porn is love you can see.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
