? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
