I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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