I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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