So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
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There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
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Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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