It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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