So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
