What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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