I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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