So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
