I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
you never un-have a 4some
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
