my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
