Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
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I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
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Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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