I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
