dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
