I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
