Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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