I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
